Glenn Beck is Epiphanius

Epiphanius of Salamis, 4th century bishop of Cyprus, is generally famous for two things: his sicko descriptions of the activities of heretics in his Panarion, and his apparent hatred of Greek education. I have never read a description of Epiphanius that did not describe him as a "simple" man with a vicious anti-intellectual streak. Steven Bigham remarks that "Everyone agrees that he knew a great deal, that he read a lot, that he wrote volumes, but everyone does not agree about the depth of his thinking, even his intelligence."[1] Another scholar remarks:

Epiphanius denounced Origenists for mingling philosophical musings with Christian theology. So the worldview which Epiphanius espoused was one which adhered strictly to his narrow understanding of orthodoxy and wholly rejected both heretical Christianity and classical culture. This view should come as no surprise, considering Epiphanius’ education, which was primarily monastic. Monks commonly denounced any form of classical education and advocated a ‘simple’ Christian life based solely on scripture. This monastic education may also explain the quality of his writing style, which has been characterized as nothing more than an ‘elevated Koine.’ This fact becomes particularly important when we consider his contemporary ecclesiastical colleagues. Many of the leaders of the church, including many bishops, were deeply educated in the classical tradition. So perhaps Epiphanius’ more humble education may have left him feeling inadequate. [2]

No matter how politely these comments are worded, the point is clear—Epiphanius is an intellectual lightweight with inferior language skills and "narrow" views. He might even know this about himself, which leads to feelings of insecurity and to attacks on properly educated people. It is true that Epiphanius does not have kind things to say about philosophy or traditional classical education. During his refutation of Origen, he writes, "Ah, how badly you have been hurt, and how many others you have hurt—as though you have been bitten by a baneful viper, I mean secular education, and become the cause of others’ death.”[3]  

It is also abundantly clear, however, that Epiphanius considered himself a scholar and wanted others to agree. He makes constant references to "my fondness for study"[4] and refers to his readers as "scholarly hearers." He goes on long digressions about the nomes in Egypt with the explanation that "If you have intellectual interests, you may find even this of use to you for love of learning and clarity’s sake."[5] He would not have undertaken the massive task of writing the Panarion, a refutation of all known heresies, if he did not consider himself intellectually up to the challenge. 

In America today we have a similar situation with Glenn Beck, one of our most hated TV personalities. His anti-intellectualism is palpable, and I know I have more than once heard him described as "an idiot." YouTube is plastered with videos of him calling for the abolition of public education. One of his books—a pretentious attempt to follow up Paine's Common Sense—contains numerous jibes at "experts" and "Ivy Leaguers," elitist snobs who consider themselves superior to "cabdrivers, mothers, or plumbers" (11). 

A self-proclaimed autodidact, Beck has boasted on the air about his extensive reading habits and is famous for illustrating his points with the aid of a chalkboard (skip to 3:20 or so in this video). His self-comparison to Thomas Paine is also a statement about his desire to be perceived as a great thinker. This year he even began an online "university," where subscribers can be inundated with David Barton lectures for about $6/month. As NY Daily News put it, "The man who wants to abolish public education now aims to educate you."

I can't help but see a pattern here—a couple of guys without the trappings of higher education still want to play ball, and play hard. So what do they do? They try to turn the tables. The people you used to think were credible are actually deluded snobs. Now that you are informed of this truth, who do you turn to? Who is your new trusted source of truth? Glenn Beck has become a non-academic who adopts some of the trappings of one. His chalkboard and his "university" are both claims to authority that he uses to co-opt the privilege and status of a professor even as he trashes the real deal. 

There are probably also some great parallels between Epiphanius' descriptions of heretical debauchery and Beck's wild conspiracy theories, but I hesitate to compare Epiphanius and Glenn Beck too closely. Mainly because I think much more highly of Epiphanius. But I am truly amazed at how little our polemical methods have changed. 

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[1] Steven Bigham, Epiphanius of Salamis, Doctor of Iconoclasm? Deconstruction of a Myth. (Rollinsford, NH: Orthodox Research Institute, 2008), 4–5.
[2] Kim Young, “The Geography of Heresy,” in Violence in Late Antiquity Perceptions and Practices, ed. H.A. Drake (Burlington, VT: Ashgate Publishing, 2006), 239.
[3] Epiphanius, Panarion 64.72.5.

[4] Epiphanius, Panarion Proem 2.4.

[5] Epiphanius, Panarion 24.1.2.